B's Page

When I started working at the Lookglass Restaurant I had to wait three weeks to get my name tag made, but because the manager requires everyone to wear a name tag, I had to wear this one. I was Rebecca from Ukraine and a few customers laughed others kinda believed it and tried asking me what Ukraine was like. 

When I started working at the Lookglass Restaurant I had to wait three weeks to get my name tag made, but because the manager requires everyone to wear a name tag, I had to wear this one. I was Rebecca from Ukraine and a few customers laughed others kinda believed it and tried asking me what Ukraine was like. 

Police: “Your eyes are red. Have you been drinking, sir?”

Me: “Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating too many donuts?”.

kikmessenger:

i fucking love the “family having fun” google search images

(via awesomewithasideofcurlyfries)

amilcarology:

Back to the S#%t! | 1989

amilcarology:

Back to the S#%t! | 1989

A horse is about to break a sweat with some hot new dance moves for the farm. I should put on “Billie Jean” when I watch this. LOL

A horse is about to break a sweat with some hot new dance moves for the farm. I should put on “Billie Jean” when I watch this. LOL

(via lala-paralove)

lousbianqueen:

yo i try really hard to get over one direction but they do one dumb thing and im back 2 square one

(Source: adityakapur, via lovelykouhai)

sinatrasoprano:

If she does this when I see her I might die.

Barbra Streisand sings a bit of “Stoney End” and does a funny Q&A with her audience. 

stylinsmut:

im a hostess at a restaurant and my favorite thing to do is ask 14/15 year old boys who are out on dates if they want a kids menu 

(Source: harrystyles420, via callthepopo-niall-stolemy-heart)

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is

yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

(via black-culture)

They should make “Maury Dance Videos”. That’s be funny!! A bunch of overweight people getting into shape by watching Maury and learning the different dance moves. Imagine the announcer saying, “On ‘Maury Dance Video Vol. 1’, you will learn hip-hop, salsa, swing dancing, and even the robot!!!”. 

(Source: drenasty123, via lovelyluminosity)

chasin-sunshine:

I’m pretty sure this is the best thing that has every happened on the CMA awards.

Mary Chapin Carpenter sings a funny little song about starting out in the music business at the CMA Awards. 

(via flagship-musings-deactivated201)

talknboutluvdancnboutarktecture:

Ain’t no body got time for that. Ain’t no body got time for cancer either. Oh, Lawd Jesus there’s a fiiiiiiire.

This is for you Nate. No shoes or nothing Jesus!